"Slow business…" thought Musashi gloomily, having visited the Occlo tailor shop for the third time that day.  The proprietor Clyde, usually a reliable buyer of fine linens and cotton garments on this somewhat remote isle, semmed to be having problems finding captial.  "I cannot afford any more of that," he would say repeatedly.  Feeling badly for the poor merchant, Musashi was giving him a few complimentary shirts, gaining both the merchant’s gratitude and perhaps paving the way for good future business, when a young person in full plate approached.

"What are you selling?" said the apparent adventurer.

Since the stranger had not deigned to introduce him/herself, Musashi reluctantly and silently appealed to the spiritual entity known by some as AllNames.  The person’s name shone for a second in Musashi’s mind… Carmen Electra.  Hmm… a odd name for this world, yet since the person also lacked the simple courtesy to remove even her ugly plate helmet upon entering the shop, Musashi could only assume that this visitor was, indeed, female.

"Oh, I sell a variety of wares… unfortunately poor Cyrus seems to be having cash problems," replied Musashi, handing a sash to Cyrus, who though he never sold them, was grateful for the gift and let Mu know about a fabled accurate club in some distant jungle.  Mu nodded blankly at the "tip"; those hints never yielded anything useful, and he had been ignoring such information ever since he went off to find a scimitar that Dana in Serpent’s Hold told him about, only to find it in the clutches of a particularly curt dread lord.  "Mostly trousers and these sleeveless shirts now… a professional tailor cannot be picky about what he crafts."

Seemingly bored with the conversation, Carmen Electra walked over to Cyrus and said, "Vendor Sell" several times.  Mu sighed; so few casual adventurer/merchants ever deigned to give the shopkeepers the simple dignity of being addressed by their names.  Seemingly frustrated, the plate-clad warrior walked back.

"Nobody in this game roleplays!" Carmen yelled.  Mu raised an eyebrow; he had heard this sort of talk before, but was never sure what it meant.


"They just try and make as much money as they can!  Sitting around in tailor shops all day!"

"Umm… I don’t, I work at home and simply travel to do business with merchants like Cyrus here…"

Carmen Electra interrupted.  "I just got back from a dungeon and I can’t sell any clothes!"

Musashi was intrigued.  "You found clothing inside a dungeon?  Hmm…"  This seemed to confirm one of Mu’s theories about dungeon monsters.  Whenever he went delving with a group of grandmaster mages, warriors, archers, what have you, the local monsters almost inevitably chose to attack him.  "Clomp tayler!  Hoowah!" was a frequent phrase around the orc fort.  Coupled with the fact that monsters seemed to carry less in the way of valuables than they once did, Musashi could only surmise that the foul creatures  wanted to capture him, a master tailor, for the purposes of teaching them how to sew so they could enrich themselves.  Strange, but then again, he had seen vile water elementals who had been imprisoned in a house pass the days scribing magical scrolls, so it seemed likely that a similar fate had befallen a master scribe sometime in the past.

Carmen Electra was still ranting, snapping Mu out of his rather misguided train of thought.  "Why don’t you roleplay?"

"This person," thought Mu, "is INSANE."

"Ehm, I have heard of this ‘role-playing’, but I’m not sure what it is.  Could you enlighten me?" said Mu, carefully eyeing the door in case the crazy person decided to assault him.

"You just sit around in shops tailoring!" she frothed.

"Umm… I AM a professional tailor, you know, it’s what I do."

"Sitting around in tailor shops all day is pointless!" she ranted.

Musashi decided it was time to try and defuse this situation; poor Cyrus was glancing over at the insane woman, and even the normally imperturbable weaver Clyde was ducking into a side room.  "Ahem… I take it you are a tailor as well?" he said, skeptically looking over the woman’s full silver plate armor and massive (yet inelegant) viking sword.

"No, I’m a roleplayer." she said proudly.

"But… you are in a tailor shop, and you are selling clothing…"

"I just do it for money sometimes when I’m not in a dungeon!"

"So this… ‘role-playing’ then, it is done in a dungeon?" inquired Mu.

"See this sword?" she said, brandishing her blade, worrying poor Clyde and Cyrus a bit more.  "I’m not using a heavy crossbow!  I’m a roleplayer!  And I don’t wear bone armor, no matter how numbercrunched it is!"

Firmly convinced of the oddly named woman’s madness, Musashi tried to change the topic.  "Ahem… that plate armor… very unusual to see a tailor in it…" he said.

"It’s GM plate, AR 33!"

Musashi blinked at the nonsense spewing forth from this poor lost soul.  "Ah… so does wearing plate gauntlets in the tailor shop mean you don’t need to use a thimble?"

"A what?" Carmen replied, oblivious to this mention of one of the most basic tools of the tailor’s trade.  Musashi had no idea how people could stand to wear full plate anyhow, much less try and do any sort of delicate work wearing huge pieces of steel over their fingers.  Her clothes must be the worst ever made… no wonder she wears that armor over them, he thought.

About this time, the tailor Baby mystically appeared in the shop, and began to approach Cyrus (who seemed grateful to see an increase in the number of sane people in the shop).  Without another word, Carmen Electra turned and walked over to Baby and started harassing her… "Why don’t you roleplay?"  Rather than get drawn into this madwoman’s argument again, Mu simply loomed some cloth rather quickly and padded out of the shop as Baby began to defend her position against the armored seamstress (a wasted effort, he thought).

Walking back to the bank to deposit his meager profits, he reflected on the notion of "role-playing"… wearing big chunks of steel at all times and fighting monsters in dungeons with the poorly crafted hand weapons of Britannia.  A strange game, this "role-playing", it seemed.  Avoiding those who stood outside the bank chanting the mantra "Vendor Buy Bank Guards", Musashi decided he wanted no part of it… until someone who was able to speak coherently could explain it to him.

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