What’s this… Mu in his ridiculous plate again?  A call had gone out via Ni’Vek LOA regarding those pesky Followers of Armageddon and their world-ending spell, based on information from KNIGHT VENTRUETM of Caps Lock.  Mu had been pestered by these FoA and their meaningless quests long enough!  Even certain death was preferable to more of their pointless rumors and hints.

A lot of the information for these raids was acquired through the aforementioned KNIGHT VENTRUETM, allied with the Syndicate, formerly of LOA, insane fighter.  KNIGHT VENTRUETM is something of a legendary figure, as he would be in a society that deifies combat above all else *harumph*.  Mu had seen him in action a long time ago in the streets of Magincia, killing RGA members left and right, and had handed him some crossbow bolts in a sheepish gesture which probably did not curry him any favor with the grandmaster fighter and resulted in Mu having to flee from some giant spiders shortly thereafter, since he had given away all of his ammunition.

Argh, does the idiocy never end?  Mu and a bunch of infinitely more competent fighters wound up gating to the Chaos Temple or somewhere (who can keep track), where they found a lot of interesting scenery and yet another book.  Is this a quest to prevent the end of the world or an elaborate plot to encourage literacy amongst the citizens of Britannia?  If so, the FoA would be well advised to choose a battle they might be able to win.

The would-be heroes (and Mu) assembled on the prospective field of battle, near the Britain hedge maze.  Forming battle lines (as if that would make a difference), they stood around for a while, with little to do besides observe each others’ garb, which upset Mu, considering his ridiculous getup, which is here commented on by Dawnstar LOA.

Someone had the brilliant idea of wearing specific battle colors in order to easier identify who was an ally during the imminent mass melee.  Unfortunately, the person in charge of the dye tubs was apparently colorblind.  It’s difficult to feel heroic when one is dressed up like a citrus fruit.  Fortunately, the ranking LOA chose not to have their charges dye their clothing, which would have no doubt caused Mu to die of embarassment before the enemy even showed.

Unfortunately, the sea dog Santiago had strayed away from the group and had been ambushed by a bad fashion press gang.  Grumbling and walking away from Mu as he commented on the lemon disguise, Santi later shed the ridiculous robe and was back in his salt-caked studded leather armor, ready to die with dignity.

The only real battle that evening came when a lone liche popped up out of nowhere and took a couple of fighters down before being swarmed by superior numbers.  Here is the aftermath, where most of the warriors mill about waiting for a challenge, while Mu bravely tries to direct battle from the rear, bow paranoidly drawn.  Santiago had not yet shed his absurd outfit at this point, perhaps to better disguise the gold doubloons he is no doubt snatching from the fetid corpse.

Nothing else happened at the hedge maze, except for a couple of nasty energy vortexes some scoundrels summoned, killing Dawnstar, and Montesque somehow running off with a bunch of idiots after him yelling "CRIM FLAG!  CRIM FLAG!"  Bored as usual, Mu returned to the clearing where an unhappy walrus (magically kidnapped from his home by Indur Dawndeath) was attempting to kneecap Brewman de LOA, with encouragement from Vem the Razor.  A walrus?  Well, at least is wan’t a demon or something, out to get Mu again.

Spoke too soon.  Mu reflected that it was a good thing he had worn his silly armor after all, as all manner of summoned creatures seemed to love to go after tailors, pounding him mercilessly while ignoring the much more powerful blows of everyone else.  Here Mu waits for certain death as he tries to position himself for a valiant blow to the back.  At least it’s only one demon.

Argh.  It’s Get the Tailor day in the LOA clearing, and everyone’s invited.  Here Ni’Vek (black plate), Montesque (maroon robe and shield), Dr. Buzz (black tunic, standing at a sane distance), and Brewman (maroon robe and ugly bone helmet, also maintaining a good range) beat the thing to death while Mu’s arms cramp from the effort of wielding a halberd.  Vem, watch your back…

Whoops.  Gazing on the rotting corpse, Mu reflected on his own days as a commoner of Akalabeth, seeking admittance to the guild, and came to the startling conclusion that perhaps it was the purpose of commoners to absorb horrific amounts of damage, preserving the rank-and-file throughout battle.  Mu made a mental note to always hang around commoners from this point forward, since if there were no commoners to eat energy bolts, that duty usually fell to Mu.

 

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