This rant page is way out of date. After seething with jealousy over how cool Lum the Mad’s rant page is, I finally feel like updating it by answering some questions people have been pestering me with.

But first… I sent a complaint to OSI today about a counselor. Normally, paging a GM or asking for support in UO is just beating your head against a rock… nothing good would come of it. I’ve also been harassed by a GM before, so I viewed UO GM’s kinda like New York City cops when I lived there… always be suspicious. However, next time I checked my mail, I got a reply from GM Socks, and the infamous GM Iron Will in reply. I was told the person I was complaining about was no longer a counselor due to a few reasons, including some of the things I was complaining about. Now while I think this recent rash of mad bannings from UO (on several very shaky grounds, ranging from unattended macroing to “some people whined that they don’t like how you play”) is a big mistake, I’m amazed that I’m getting any kind of response at all from OSI support, let alone such quick replies. Hopefully they’ll settle down and find a middle ground before they ban the entire Atlantic shard.

And now, those damn questions. These are the sorts of things people might ask about if anyone ever read my page and actually wondered what I thought. I know this is not the case, so it’s basically ego stroking for me.

Why did you leave the Lost Order of Akalabeth?

I was going to leave anyway. To be quite frank, although the LOA was my first guild in UO and there are still some folks in there I like, the organization as a whole was far too annoying.

I entered the Merchant wing with Kagero because it seemed to have the coolest people in our initial analysis, but when you’re in the merchant wing nothing good happens. You are somehow expected to provide material goods for the guild, except that in UO no one needs materials on a guild wide basis. They either have their mules make stuff for them, trade with friends who have mules who make the stuff, or buy it at vendors who sell things for way cheaper than the ones around the village. And since in UO nobody EVER needs clothes, the tailoring thing is strictly a money craft. (Now you can make exceptional leather armor if you really want to spend years sewing hides to go from 72 to GM.) So every once in a while I’d meet someone from the merchants, give them 10,000 gold, and go back to whatever I was doing. The gold was always given in the name of the RoM, and who the hell knew what they used it for anyway. Certainly I never saw anyone get a grant from the guild when their house got looted or when they were PK’ed. Once in a while something bad would happen to me, and I’d send a message in IRC about being killed (“I’m dead in Pluggers’”… *silence*… “Damn PK’s, well you didn’t lose much”… *SupaKilla is away (macroing resist)*) or looted (“Hmm, I seem to have lost 500 of each reagent and 12 sets of colored plate”… “Damn looters! I bet they used UOE!”… “That sucks, I got looted before too, oh well, what’s on TV”…) just to see if any sort of offer of support would happen. Only a few guys helped to defend one of my houses after Kag lost the key to it (again), and most of them were ex-LOA at the time, or on their way out of the guild.

The general attitude of “a roleplaying guild” also tends to bother me. More on this later.

Most of the time my only contact with the guild was via their IRC channel, and that began to annoy me to no end, not because I really wanted to see anyone in-game, but because the things that would happen in IRC just sucked. The trash talking was nonstop sometimes, and although I love trash talk when it’s funny and somewhat deserved, people with NO FUCKING CLUE would go on and on about how so-and-so was such a joke (this was made by one of the worst fighters I have ever seen, in reference to one of the top ten PvP players on Atlantic, home of super PvPers), how so-and-so was a whiny kid, when the rumor mongers themselves whined more than anyone when something bad happened to them, how so-and-so was a filthy traitor who gave away precious guild secrets to outsiders (this happened a few times, once to Kagero who had no idea what was going on), etc. Mentioning that anything was annoying to you earned you the derision and scorn of the “inner circle” of the LOA, so after I pointed out a few things which sucked and they got ignored or talked down, I just said fuck it and left it alone.

Later on, when I went on some missions with people besides Kagero, the ineptness I witnessed amongst members of the “military arms” of the guild, leading to more needless death and losses than I ever ran into on any trip alone or with Kagero, made me understand those snickerings I heard from other people when they were talking about the LOA in combat. This was not even in hardcore PvP mind you… this was against MONSTERS and some raggedy thieves. About the LOA in combat I can say this much… at least they aren’t LLTS. 8P

Did that evil Maraxus steal you out of the IRC channel like we know he did?

Umm no. I was actually planning to just leave LOA and play alone. Maraxus’ invitation was a convenient way to keep in touch with those whom I liked, and after seeing how the LOA was whining and bitching and backstabbing those who chose to leave in IRC and email, my own decision was made that much faster. Thanks for helping me decide!

Why did you leave Lost Souls?

I didn’t. The thing about Lost Souls was we were all pretty much sick of UO anyway, and just hung out to talk about whatever was going on. The guild kinda dissolved away when Maraxus fell for a chick and some of us stopped playing on Atlantic and took up on Hokuto. Maraxus went crazy one day and declared LS dissolved when he felt everyone was abandoning him; some believed him and took off their LS tags, some didn’t give a shit and kept them on. I didn’t give a shit.

Are you a k3wld00d or a roleplayer?

Dunno. k3wld00ds tend to be distasteful just because the majority of them are immature posers, although I gotta admit d00dspeak is pretty contagious. Roleplayers, as the term is used in UO, tend to be annoying whiners who break character as soon as something goes against them and make up bad grammar as they go to simulate Elizabethan dialects. So which category I fall under depends on what annoying thing I’m doing at the moment.

What’s your problem with roleplayers?

Because 95% of them DON’T ROLEPLAY. This is a loooong issue, but in a nutshell, roleplaying = acting, most roleplayers = shitty actors. Most of the self-proclaimed roleplayers I have met really don’t have any sort of character concept at all, just some sort of hazy Tim Hildebrandt-ish idea of a heroic guy or Boris Vallejo-esque hot girl in bronze nipple guards who walks around and is admired by everyone and has some sort of great destiny, which is probably to one day graduate high school. However, soon as something happens against them, out of character we come… “U USE UOE I BET”… “im calling a gm u cheater”… “this sux i lost conn”… I have met some pretty good roleplayers on Catskills, but they tend to dislike anyone who doesn’t roleplay to their standards of what they think roleplaying is. Come to think of it, that’s the case on all shards.

Most of the guys whom I would say are decent roleplayers are usually disliked by other, larger groups of bad roleplayers. Some of the great roleplayers I remember include Pot Sage, a green-wearing hippy cult leader who did nothing but hold huge parties and pretend to smoke bowls of lettuce, and Magius, the leader of the Silken Dagger who tried to kill me once and slaughtered tons of LOA with adept magery, staying in character every damn second I saw him. Ibn Shaun is purportedly a great roleplayer too, but I only met him once, so I can’t say.

What’s your problem with k3wld00ds?

Because people who are consistently k3wl are usually morons. There’s nothing wrong with being a moron, and it doesn’t mean I hate people just because they’re morons, but there’s no reason to hang out with a moron and talk to him for hours every day. I get bored to tears.

Is there anyone at all in UO that you like as a group?

Hmm…

Why the hell are you still playing UO?

Sappily enough, it’s because of the people I play with. I also happen to think the engine is basically a good one, and I understand it now to the point where it doesn’t get in the way too much, clunky as it can be. I did the Everquest beta, and like most people I know who were in UO and tried EQ, I hated it after a while. There’s just nothing out there, IMHO, which can touch the buggy, laggy, crappy, awkward UO interface. Of course, as OSI keeps making changes to UO to accomodate whiny fake RPers and try and emulate the features of Everquest I hated, I might wind up just playing Starcraft a lot and waiting for the Asheron’s Call beta to start. I bet that will suck too.

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