The primary reason most of the Por Corps lost interest in the Deathlands league had nothing to do with the league itself.  It was a well-crafted, nicely automated script that didn’t require tons of user-end maintenance.  The problem was that the primary age group of StarCraft players seems to be somewhere around the 13-17 year old zone.  This would not be a problem in all cases, but for some reason 13-17 year old computer geeks tend to express themselves through acts of sheer stupidity, i.e. not making it to a match and not telling anyone, either cheating or accusing everyone else of cheating (or, in the case of Black Rain, doing both simultaneously), or just posting illiterate dumbass messages on the Deathlands forum.  I saw this trend even long after I stopped pounding people in StarCraft, and began to take pity on these poor souls, who continuously whined about things they thought they were entitled to in a volunteer-driven free gaming league and insisted on prefacing their names with the adjective "Dark", as in "Dark Vulture", "Dark Sabre", "Dark$Lord$", "Dark Morbid", and their most prolific spokesman, "Dark Kingz".  Soon they formed into small hives of whiny MTV-era idealism… the "Dark Legion Syndicate", "Dark Legion", "Dark Kingz", "Dark (fill in the blank)".  These poor souls, misunderstood by their parents and with only a black wardrobe and Marilyn Manson posters to keep them company (it used to be Pink Floyd, but then I would be showing my age), were in dire need of someone to champion their cause.  Someone who felt their angst and realized that no one else’s problems could possibly be as big or important as theirs.  Someone as stupid and proud of it as they were.  Thus was born a new force on the forums… codename: Dark Dark Dark Dark Dark.

Here for posterity I have collected some of the significant writings of this patriot of the unwashed, along with some other comments from the same threads so that they may be viewed in context, complete with analytical commentary…

From the thread "League ending / starting over" started by Abaddon…

Abaddon basically announced for the end of the first league season and asked for suggestions for the upcoming season.  MerryJayne, leader of The Addicted, the first season winners, made some intelligent suggestions.


I have some recommendations for the new world:

Make it an 18&over league. I have way too many problems with kids not making it to games because they have no concept of time management, they don’t have their own computer or phone line, and they don’t have control of their own lives.


Any comments from logical people, not just kids saying "NO FAIR I’M NOT 18 AND I WANT TO PLAY"? If you can act 18,  then you can get a credit card or somehow verify your age and dedication to the league.

High Bud Smoker
The Addicted

Naturally, intelligence cannot be tolerated.


Hey, MerryJayne, i know u are tired of "kids" not showing too matches and stuff like that but this is a game and it is meant to have fun, not to pay 20$ and then get beaten by u and ur team that take this game way to seriously and play it 24/7. If u wanna go play seriously then i dont think this is the league for u go join PGL or some professional gaming league. this is for fun, and friendly competion.

Leader of Dark Rebels II
Emporer of Terran Forces


"Lord of Destruction"

DarkMorbid goes on to illustrate "fun and friendly competition".


Exactly, this league is for fun and it is fun. If people had to pay to join it then there really wouldnt be that many people here. Also if it was an 18 & older league then that would really cut down on the amount of people in it cuz there are a lot of people under 18 in Deathlands. AND LITTLE WHINNY BITCHES SUCH AS U MERRYJAYNE NEED TO SHUT THE **** CUZ WE DONT NEED TO HEAR ALL YOUR DAMN COMPLAINING SO **** OFF. If you dont like the league then dont be in it.


Yeah Morbid! I think that people who want this league to be 18 and over are well, gay. No offense but that’s really stupid.. I don’t wanna pay 10 bucks and get whopped by the Addicted. Go play in the ISL, wait you already did that.. I had to leave that league because of Deathlands, and I’m not about to go quitting this league beacusae I’m 13!

Start your own league if you want to make people pay… but this League should be FREE!

Leader, DarkRebels


This here universe just ain’t big ‘nough for the two of us, scram!

Dark Kingz

agreed morbo and sabrei think this league would be gay if it were meant 4 adults and not kids too


How remarkable.

It is so easy to see who are the adults here and who are the "non-adults".

Please, people. If you have a problem, just state what it is. There is no need for profanity at all. If anything, it will make you look even worse and ignored. By acting more polite, you’ll be amazed at how people treat you with respect and actually pay attention to what you say.

I’m just glad that the Heavy Gear forums are nothing like this…

"The bell rings against a hollow sky; the raven caws–no mercy!
All samurai walk the path to nothingness."

Touche Redeemer, but let us not forget DarkMorbid’s witty riposte!


Hmmm interesting concept about not using profanity….oh well **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** ****. And thats about all i have to say right now.

Infernal Spawn from HELL
Member of the Ðark Rebels

Phule’s Company


I’m with MerryJayne. If I wanted to put up with antics like this I’d go hang around the preschool a few blocks from my house.


Preschools are cool hangouts dude. If i lived that close to a preschool then id be there everyday.

Infernal Spawn from HELL
Member of the Ðark Rebels

Does that last statement scare anyone else?

Dark Kingz

I agree with morbid this isnt made for all you little sissys becuase for some reason no matter what yu have something to say about to you well its not you damn league so go get a life and compain to your boss about your pay or something you dumb **** stupid mother ****ers!who think tournaments are meant for adults!!

Dark Kingz has raised the banner.  Enter OUR HERO!

Dark Dark Dark Dark Dark

yeh i agree with those dark guyz i mean liek tournments shuld b 4 kids who cant keep there mouth under control liek us cuz our parents dont unnerstand us thats why where so dark and angsty and stay in r roomz n listen 2 angsty teen rok without understnding teh words adn tehn post like moronz on this bbs. so if u dont liek us acting like dark dorks then u r gay homoz adn stuff!!11 hehe. i gotta go chek my speekers now, i here a wierd whining sound from them. tehn im gonna wear cheap black clothes and hang out at teh mall.

now i wil demnstrat my maturty **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** ****

hehe im kool.

adn dark!!!111


Damn dude u kick ****in ass. You seem to have some kind of mental deficiency or something tho but over all ur pretty coo.

Infernal Spawn from HELL
Member of the Ðark Rebels

DarkMorbid has certainly seen the future, and is backing Dark Dark Dark Dark Dark 100%!  However, this is a dangerous path to be sure, and it is understandable why some might wish to distance themselves from the controversy…


Alrighty, my two cents.
I’m afriad i gotta agree with all the other darks about 18 and over rules, id guess 70%+ of bnet is 18- and 90%+ of dlands is.(including me and all my team . Time management has little to do with age as ive seen 30 year olds with less time skils than me . As for charging, it would do little more than reduce the already sparse amount of teams in this leauge, unless u are willing to offer prizes like PGL, then its useless to charge.
On those other posts , Dark does NOT= immature, only certain people make us think that. (i wil not mention "morbid" names  )
I now offer a disclamier: i have nothing to do with DarkMorbid or any other Dark 3 year olds. The end, thanx for listnenin

No fear!  Embrace the darkness!


From the thread "Shadwolf’s B’net Primer" started by some jerkoff…

(The initial post in this thread was in fact Shadwolf’s B’net Primer from this page.  I suggest you go read it here if you have not done so before examining this thread.)

After Shadwolf blew the lid off the secrets of mastering, some made an attempt to cover their affiliation.  However, his spelling gives him away…


IS this guy TRYING to make my life miserable?

NO..NO… NOOOOOO more G33ks on bnet no more @@@ idiots, no more kewldudes.. NOOO .
Some smart thoughts
1. Make smart names, cool but not untypable ones, ur freinds stiill have to be able to whisper u . C00i|]|_|D3 are a PAIN IN THE ASS to type.

2. If u maka clan, tryin hava little skill, ches buddies rare;ly make good SC players .

3. And finally, for HEANEN’S SAKES, do not become a bgh rusher . Theres enough of em as it is .

Im done now
DarkVulture-The Darkness


Hey i Am not a Geek, I dont wear glasses Nor do i have pimples. I never use @| or any of the other cool symbals. I have a wife so i dont need a date and i have kids.I also work out at the gym 5 days a weeek, damn does this mean i will never fit

Rumor has it that the above author’s original monicker was "DaRk SaTaN".

Dark Kingz


Phule’s Company

Hey SaTaN, there’s still hope for u d00d!!

After all, you *do* use alternating caps and have a cool devil-worshipping reference in your nick.


F0r 7h3 n3xt 53450n, d4 4dd1c73d 15 4cc3p71ng n3w m3mb3r5!!!

If you aren’t ‘l33t like we are in The Addicted, now’s your chance to learn how! Just email me at or drop me a line on ICQ (682814) or If you’re any good, we can use you on our team!

Vote Addicted in ’99!!!

High Bud Smoker
The Addicted

An opportunity to infiltrate those who would oppose dark (fill-in-the-blank)s everywhere!  Our hero had to make his move, while simultaneously helping players everywhere with a completely ingenious build perfected by Black Rain leader SkAtAnA!

Dark Dark Dark Dark Dark

k3wl cn i join yur team???/// i play alot on bnet adn hvae a good bild ordr oh yeh i play teh terrans cuz there teh most liek earth ppl

b4 u play open netscaep adn go 2 a warez/h@x0r site with dl’s

liftoff cc and slide next 2 mins

send scvs 2 mins bild scv 5

when scv 5 coms out pause gaem and demand otehr team taek screenshots cuz u no there cheeting

scv 6 2 mins

scv 7 bilds rax if u haev time hear pause agin and acuse tehm of cheeting agin

scv 8 bilds farm

scv 9 bilds rax DONT FORGET 2 keep acusing tehm of cheeting cuz taht scares tehm

scv 10 bilds farm

tehn u just maek lots of rines adn rush tehm when u haev liek 6 rines if tehy atak u 1st u alt-tab 2 netscaep adn start dling soemthing to lag tehn u disconect and ur partner acuses them of crashing ur client and say teh admins will kik tehm out of teh leage if they don give u there planet hehe

adn CC SLIDE IS NOT CHEET!!11 it is part of teh gaem jsut liek maphak so u c im 1337 enuf 4 any teem adn i think tihs leeg shuld b only 4 12 adn under unless ur k3wl or u hav a name taht has teh word DARK in it if ur old adn stuf then U SUK hehe

l8r d00dz

Now Dark Vulture comes out of the… umm… darkness and tries to assert his authority over dark d00dz everywhere!  Pretender!  Pretender!

Dark Vulture

Could somebody please translate those last two posts for me? please?!!!
I hva a little understandin of waht they say, but not sure .
Ahh well, my own thoughts (lol, like taht could happen)Dark=COOO . though dark dark dark dark= defeciacly (hehe).
Rembmer, Merry will kick ur ass so tryin take second from ME next season .
Ahhh well, cya all in 3 weeks or so (P.S. I NEED THAT TRANSLATIUON!!)
gl all, cuase ull need it next season.

The (One and ONLY!) Darkness


From the thread "why the Hell is Deathlands letting people rereve planets?? " started by Dark Kingz:

Dark Kingz

why the heck is deathlands letting people reseve planets when the seasons almost over????????? why why whyw hwy tell m why is it still letting people resereve planets when the seasons over in what 1234..6 days!whats up with that?!?!


ok, take a deep breath and get a cig.

i dont know why, in fact i am new to deathlands. i am looking to join a clan. i am not the best player in the game but i am also not a terrible player. i can usually hold my own and if anybody wants me my e-mail address is

Dark Kingz

NaH i DoNT NeED a CiG i gOt A nIcKle and a L so im SeT

Dark Dark Dark Dark Dark

k3wl u g0t a nikel??// i need 2 get soem mony 2 but my paretns wnat 2 spend it all on dum stuf liek books 4 summer remediel reeding skool so u bettr hold onto it so ur folx dont maek u spedn it on somthing STOOPID liek fixing ur comps sHiFt KeY sO u DoNt LoOk As KeWl WhEn U pOsT mEsSaGeS


From the thread "well well" started by Dark Kingz:

Dark Kingz

THis SUX ass The God daMN touRnment is OVEr NO!!!!what the **** am i gonna do now

Dark Dark Dark Dark Dark

d0nn0 d00d, i wuz gona c if i cn go 2 my freinds house adn play soem magic teh gathring or maybe vAmPiRe TeH mAsKeRaId but i cant by teh bookz cuz dis guy keeps beeting me up 4 my lunch mony adn my alowanse suks. adn i got fierd form my job @ mcds cuz of one litl greece fire in teh deep friers.

owell theirs alwayz airplain glue 2 snif adn backstreet boyz 2 lissen 2, i gota go my mom watns me 2 eat soem lunchables






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