Match 3:  Protoss Empire attacks [PC] at Bifrost, 1/13/99
loser_baby-SoA/Protoss and Shrike -PE-/Terrans vs [PC]Musashi/Protoss and [PC]Tigger/Protoss
Result:  VICTORY
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Match 2:  [PC] attacks Roughnecks at Samhadi, 1/12/99
[PC]Musashi/Protoss and [PC]Shadwolf/Terrans vs Blue-RN and Tom-RN (Protoss/Terrans)
Result:  DEFEAT
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Match 1:  [PC] attacks Roughnecks at Gotterdammerung, 1/11/99
[PC]Musashi/Protoss and [PC]Bean/Protoss vs Blue-RN/Protoss and Tom-RN/Zerg
Result:  VICTORY
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Mu’s note, 3/20/2009:  The Por Corps was a loose group of Starcraft players formed around a core of us who used to play a lot of 8 hour marathons at Shadwolf’s house, and never ever even thought of playing online until Kel_Riever, our weakest player, single-handedly beat a team of 4 idiots on his first game on Battle.net.  The Por Corps competed in the Deathlands Starcraft League run by Abaddon around early 1999ish, with a very good record until everyone got bored and pretty much quit, leaving [PC]Tigger to form a new Por Corps consisting of weak players, whose sole job it was to annoy everyone else in the league by playing really strangely all the time.  Sadly, there are no records from this halcyon period, but you can imagine what those games were like by reading [PC]Tigger’s endgame treatise.

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Kel Riever is a member of the Por Corps who actually gets so incredibly bored that he goes out and looks for games on Battle.Net.  Most of these games lead to interesting stories about the general Bnet populace, which he occasionally deems worthy to record for all time, or at least until I take my page down.  They serve as a good source of information on Battle.net to the rest of us, most of whom are too smart to actually play on it.  8P

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Bored bored bored… these three words should replace Truth, Love and Courage as the basis for the behavior of all Britannian citizens.  Mu must be excessively bored to the trying to fool this newbie into believing he was the proprietor of the Yew winery, an institution long known to make nothing at all nor to employ anyone.  How is it that Mu is always mistaken for a shopkeeper while he wears outlandish black robes and plate?  It must be his glassy-eyed stare, his born of incredible boredom, the shopkeepers’ born of hearing the words "Vendor Bank Buy Guards" ten thousand times per day.  Mu later helped the gullible young man defeat his first enemy, healing grievous wounds inflicted by a mad cow.

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One problem with being a member of a guild of nihlists is that they tend to stay in their houses a lot, contemplating how much life in Sosaria sucks, or for the lucky, journeying in the wilds of Norrath (I HATE MARAXUS!).  What’s an extremely bored tailor to do?  Visit one’s old guild of course, which is easy to do when the LOA advertises the location of their home so fervently, encouraging visits by bored tailors, gates full of dragons, and bandit tribes.  Luckily, Ni’Vek of LS was already there and had determined that Lost Souls were not being killed on sight this day, and Mu relaxed his grip on his assortment of cheesy poisoned weapons and released the clasp on his reflection necklace as Meat Man III and XoR say hello.  How do you spot the newbie?  He’s ALWAYS the one in the orc helmet, a theorem proved by Larethian here as he asked what crystal balls did, how much a no draw was worth, and the like.

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Truly, a difficult burden it is to suck at fighting.  Perhaps Maraxus, Guildmaster of the Lost Souls, could help him out a bit with this?  Musashi had been hoping for a more academic approach to the arts of staying alive whilst beset by all manner of bone helm-wearing scum, but unfortunately Maraxus seems to be a believer in the test of fire… dueling!  Reluctantly, Mu agreed to this manner of teaching, although he did pause to get some last-minute advice on the finer points of using magic in combat.

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As Mu’s frustration and angst grew exponentially with each experience in Sosaria, he began to wonder why it was that people remained here.  Was it the horrible, bland, overcooked food?  The opportunity to sit around in tailor shops for days on end?  The low-cost, secure housing availability?  It seemed that the only ones who really thrived in this world were murderers… perhaps they were smiled upon by the mysterious deities which governed this world?  At the end of his rope, Musashi decided to seek the advice of Maraxus’ *ahem* older brother, Maraxus Moor II, who was a murderer many times over and, though similarly disenchanted with life in the boring lands they both called home, strangely languished on.  A war party was formed, and Musashi prepared to venture forth into the unknown to see what sort of fulfillment existed for the hardcore criminal.

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With the vast wealth of strategy sites for Starcraft available on the net, there is hardly a need for another.  Or is there?  This section, compiled by Tony Faber and extensively playtested at Shadwolf’s LAN, consists of tips you will not find on any other site on the web.  Why?  Because these strategies are not designed to win.

NOTE:  These strats are designed for use in version 1.03.  Changes made in the latest patch make some of these strategies unusable, although the spirit of annoyance is everlasting.

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