Archive for the “Ultima Online Chronicles” Category

One problem with being a member of a guild of nihlists is that they tend to stay in their houses a lot, contemplating how much life in Sosaria sucks, or for the lucky, journeying in the wilds of Norrath (I HATE MARAXUS!).  What’s an extremely bored tailor to do?  Visit one’s old guild of course, which is easy to do when the LOA advertises the location of their home so fervently, encouraging visits by bored tailors, gates full of dragons, and bandit tribes.  Luckily, Ni’Vek of LS was already there and had determined that Lost Souls were not being killed on sight this day, and Mu relaxed his grip on his assortment of cheesy poisoned weapons and released the clasp on his reflection necklace as Meat Man III and XoR say hello.  How do you spot the newbie?  He’s ALWAYS the one in the orc helmet, a theorem proved by Larethian here as he asked what crystal balls did, how much a no draw was worth, and the like.

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Truly, a difficult burden it is to suck at fighting.  Perhaps Maraxus, Guildmaster of the Lost Souls, could help him out a bit with this?  Musashi had been hoping for a more academic approach to the arts of staying alive whilst beset by all manner of bone helm-wearing scum, but unfortunately Maraxus seems to be a believer in the test of fire… dueling!  Reluctantly, Mu agreed to this manner of teaching, although he did pause to get some last-minute advice on the finer points of using magic in combat.

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As Mu’s frustration and angst grew exponentially with each experience in Sosaria, he began to wonder why it was that people remained here.  Was it the horrible, bland, overcooked food?  The opportunity to sit around in tailor shops for days on end?  The low-cost, secure housing availability?  It seemed that the only ones who really thrived in this world were murderers… perhaps they were smiled upon by the mysterious deities which governed this world?  At the end of his rope, Musashi decided to seek the advice of Maraxus’ *ahem* older brother, Maraxus Moor II, who was a murderer many times over and, though similarly disenchanted with life in the boring lands they both called home, strangely languished on.  A war party was formed, and Musashi prepared to venture forth into the unknown to see what sort of fulfillment existed for the hardcore criminal.

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How long ago did Mu receive a package from the court of Lord British saying he had license to visit the new lands?  How long did Mu ignore the package?  How long did he not bother to visit the new lands after he finally opened it because it all seemed horribly boring?  Only the combined whinings and pleadings of Maraxus, Phaedra (in the hat), and Kagero (late through the gate as usual) convinced him to hesitantly put on his unfashionable armor and head off to Encyclopaedia Magicka in Moonglow to say pointless-sounding nonsense words along with a bunch of other suckers and head off to the expanded world of boredom.  It was commonly rumored that these "new lands" were nothing more than Lord British’s last-ditch attempt to squeeze a few more farthings out of his disgruntled  subjects before they all move to Norrath, and as such Musashi was unwilling to contribute, until  British lowered his entry fee to 7 gold, which was just about the right price for the decorative coaster the license would eventually serve as.

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How can one’s patience not grow thin with a life consisting mainly of tailoring, getting killed by murderers, and whining about it?  The seeds of insanity in Musashi had been sown long long ago, and the malodorous climes of Sosaria only served to germinate them at an accelerated rate.  If the physics of the world would allow him to, Mu would gladly leap off of this cliff to his death in the sea, but even that respite is denied him, as the maliciously cackling wandering healers and shrines bring one back to life again and again… only the legendary account cancellation phenomena brings any sort of lasting peace to the weary traveler.  Why has Musashi not sought this relief yet?  Only for the company of friends, such as those he has made in the Lost Order of Akalabeth, but such a huge guild eventually feels impersonal and remote, as bureaucracy and politics cloud the simple, personal bonds which make life worthwhile.  What to do?  Fortunately, some other people were close at hand to exploit his vulnerable state.

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How bored was Maraxus?  So bored that he decided to accompany Mu on a hunting trip in the Southern Jungles, in search of those new hide-bearing animals that previously yielded relatively worthless yet more logical furs when dressed.  Knowing full well the combative potential of rabbits and the like, Mu dressed for the occasion, in a nice set of gold plate he recently liberated with Maraxus’ help.  Mu is totally engrossed in trying to look imposing, as Maraxus… umm… no doubt Maraxus is trying his best to heal this poor injured soul.

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Damn, AoD again.  The LOA clearing is a popular hangout for all sorts of people, including the villainous, who can often be seen taking naps here and there in the verdant grass.  Musashi still had a death wish, and so despite his mysterious ailment which he mentions here, was glad to come down and join the fun.  "Blue Screen" is a malicious disease, striking whenever it is least convenient for its victims, leaving them vulnerable and unaware of their surroundings.  It had struck Mu 3 times in the same number of hours, and could make things very inconvenient for him.  However, Maraxus (under the Brewman sign) has other things to worry about, as he notices Xzor (mounted) grabbing loot from a drowsy AoD, loot that the Lost Order as protectors of the clearing have an obligation to safekeep.

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The Festival of Unity… one of the largest events to be held on the Atlantic shard in recent memory, at the LOA village!  Drinking!  Storytelling!  Lottery!  Duels!  And, because it was widely publicized, party crashers!  Here are two of them, in the purple robes, members of the extremely silly Army of Darkness, the group of malcontents who have been recently displaying their prowess by harassing and attacking LOA merchants and travelling tradesmen.  What about that seer behind the tree, Seer Andragon?  Didn’t he know these felons would try and jump the festival?  Perhaps he did, but the huge crowd that always seems to follow Seers around, shouting at the top of their lungs ("Can I have a quest?"… "Why are you green?"…) has probably drowned out any warnings he may have given.

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Nothing like waking up with a big goose egg on your skull to remind you that you live with a psycho.  Rubbing some liniment into his bruised, atrophied muscles, Mu escaped the house while Kagero wasn’t looking to make his way to the village, where he hoped to find a sympathetic ear to his plight.  As usual, his tribulations only seem to arouse mirth in his erstwhile guildmates, as illustrated here by Carnifex, who is having a laugh at Mu’s expense.

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To arms!  Agents of the AoD had been harassing the village for several days (another reason for Mu to avoid it), and now it seemed there was a battle in progress.  After endless pointless questing, Musashi had a serious death wish, and actually managed to show up to the village before everything was completely over.  Here he runs desperately towards the enemy, trying to pick them off from a safe distance, as Palehorse (mounted), Deathwish Dragon (navy cloak), and Ni’Vek (looking at Mu in disbelief) beat him to it.

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