Archive for the “Ultima Online” Category

I am pleased to report that I have finally "won" in Ultima Online! 

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Note from 3/27/09:  I found a lot of weird stuff while migrating my site to the soulless CPU hogging lands of WordPress.  This was the beginning of a conflict page that never happened against "Bones," a notorious board spammer (much like Fewlio, but smarter and more articulate), goatse.cx linker, and all around fuckwit from the wild west era of teh intarwebz who plagued the Mu boards as well as some others… in this case, Joy of Villainy (long since updated a bunch of times).  It never got finished since Bones would periodically disappear, according to him, beaten by his father/uncle for posting stupid shit on the web.  He was either telling the truth or was a great satirist, though the smart money is on the former. 

Hopefully he’s dead now.  Let this be his memorial.

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Despite the moral victory of the Nighthawk demonstration, there seemed to be far too much wrong on Baja for anyone, let alone poor Mu, to correct.  As if the rampant killing, bad language, and lousy tech support weren’t enough, there was a new curse on the land… the spell definition spam seen at left as the masked Maggot Boy invokes a gate.  What were the "powers that be" thinking?  Just what the world needs… more useless chatter slowing everyone down.  However, even in this sea of injustice and iniquity, there is always a glimmer of hope.  For now, it was in the pure and noble heart of Zander, the humble peasant boy in the aqua shirt, who had aspirations of making the world a better place one day, like his namesake.

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Well, it has been almost a month since I last spouted off about UO. During this month, I have logged in approximately… uhh… 3 times. Once to see if the keep on Hokuto was still standing (it is). Once on Atlantic to get a screenshot of my paperdoll for Ra. And once to check out Siege Perilous. Well, actually I had to log onto SP about 4 times because of all the crashing, but more about this later.

During this month, as no doubt you have discerned from my constant gloating and other section of the site, I have been blowing tons of time in the Asheron’s Call beta, which I have been enjoying a hell of a lot. Of course, I keep reading other sites about UO even when I’m too disgusted to play it, and so heard a lot more crap, which I kept thinking of commenting on, but (1) there was never enough material to make up a really substantial rant, and (2) I would just be parroting some other guy who got the news before me. Well, that’s what I do anyway. However, since J. had to go and plug my site as a rant site, I’ve decided that I should toss a bunch of worthless junk together and pretend it’s a rant. Then I can go back to reading Sluggy Freelance with a clear conscience.

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(Note 3/25/2009) I found this in a dusty directory while preparing to move everything into WordPress.  I don’t think I’ve ever published it, and for good reason.  Reason be damned.

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Aha, a travesty is averted. Lum was asked by someone claiming to be GM Gabriel to remove the pic from the Darwin section, since it was in fact him and not Darwin. Or so he says… In a humorless, very official-sounding request, GM Gabriel cited the possibility of personal endangerment if he were to be recognized as “GM Darwin” outside of the OSI offices and maybe beaten up for his lunch money. In this spirit, I would like to lay all the blame for the mistake on the anonymous source for telling me it was GM Darwin in the first place. But what the hell… the pic is still funny.

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Had a few email exchanges with Lum, in which the identity of the mystery GM was debated. Mrs. Darwin insisted it was not him. Someone else thought it might have been Datura, but I can’t imagine Datura going to a player function without an EOD armored bodysuit and a waiting ambulance. Lum concurred… “If it was Datura I’m sure I would have had to bail Murm out of jail later.” I personally don’t really care that much, since as I said, it’s just a funny picture of a dorky GM staring off into space. However, there are more important things to worry about…… like the Asheron’s Call test has entered Beta One, and the NDA has been lifted!

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Muchos gracias to Lum the Mad for providing some positive ID’s on some of our suspects.

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A reader who will remain anonymous until he says he really wants his name here (so he can be recognized by the 5 people who read this page) sent in this clipped-out image from BritFest ’99, claiming it to be an accurate photographic representation of the former GM of the hour. He apparently gave himself away via a subtle clue (the name tag that said “GM Darwin”), and gave a short speech on why recalling into banks on Great Lakes had been temporarily disabled before dark-clad bodyguards hurried him into a waiting limo. Can this be real estate tycoon and ex-red-robed deity known only as “Darwin”? We may never know, but i still laugh when I look at those GM pictures, so I figured I’d post it. The presence of a cheesy red arrow just makes me laugh more.

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Late as usual. If you don’t know what’s going on in the world of crooked GM’s, I suggest you go over to the Official OSI Announcement, which is pretty much useless. Then jump over to Dr. TwisTer’s for more details. Finally, you can read an interview with GM Darwin at Lum’s. I was going to comment on this situation beforehand, since I had heard a few rumors but, uh, it kinda happened fast and I was busy playing a game that didn’t suck. The summary statement, as it appears on Dr. TwisTer…

“GM Darwin was creating house and castle deeds online, handing them off to a character and then selling those deeds for REAL US$ MONEY on Ebay.”

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