Archive for the “Starcraft” Category

The primary reason most of the Por Corps lost interest in the Deathlands league had nothing to do with the league itself.  It was a well-crafted, nicely automated script that didn’t require tons of user-end maintenance.  The problem was that the primary age group of StarCraft players seems to be somewhere around the 13-17 year old zone.  This would not be a problem in all cases, but for some reason 13-17 year old computer geeks tend to express themselves through acts of sheer stupidity, i.e. not making it to a match and not telling anyone, either cheating or accusing everyone else of cheating (or, in the case of Black Rain, doing both simultaneously), or just posting illiterate dumbass messages on the Deathlands forum.  I saw this trend even long after I stopped pounding people in StarCraft, and began to take pity on these poor souls, who continuously whined about things they thought they were entitled to in a volunteer-driven free gaming league and insisted on prefacing their names with the adjective "Dark", as in "Dark Vulture", "Dark Sabre", "Dark$Lord$", "Dark Morbid", and their most prolific spokesman, "Dark Kingz".  Soon they formed into small hives of whiny MTV-era idealism… the "Dark Legion Syndicate", "Dark Legion", "Dark Kingz", "Dark (fill in the blank)".  These poor souls, misunderstood by their parents and with only a black wardrobe and Marilyn Manson posters to keep them company (it used to be Pink Floyd, but then I would be showing my age), were in dire need of someone to champion their cause.  Someone who felt their angst and realized that no one else’s problems could possibly be as big or important as theirs.  Someone as stupid and proud of it as they were.  Thus was born a new force on the forums… codename: Dark Dark Dark Dark Dark.

Here for posterity I have collected some of the significant writings of this patriot of the unwashed, along with some other comments from the same threads so that they may be viewed in context, complete with analytical commentary…

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PC] attacks Dark Legion Syndicate at
[PC]Musashi/Protoss and [PC]Ni’Vek/Protoss vs GoDsLaYeR/Terrans and OttO/Zerg
Result:  VICTORY
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[PC] attacks Protoss Empire at Mendip, 1/21/99
[PC]Musashi/Protoss and [PC]Ni’Vek/Protoss vs -spec4-PE-/Zerg and GNG-Kosh/Terrans
Result:  VICTORY
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Out of sheer boredom, I once again consulted the Starcraft Channel to find a commander or two I could engage in a quick conflict with.  I simply wanted to test my ability to quickly deploy units and so I entered a conflict with a creative title, called, "3v2comp."  Knowing that my allies would, no doubt, quickly find a way to finish off our opponents, I wanted to see how quickly I could have my forces construct buildings for combat units. 

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I just have to make more of these entries.  Reflecting on a particular combat which was originally entitled, "4v3comp"… where do they get such interesting names?  As we were beginning, of course the organizer of this combat forgot to close out the last position and someone leapt in and took the spot, so it became, "5v3 comp."  Knowing this would already be a ridiculous experience, I began by raising the usual Terran structures so I could send forth a horde of marines and tanks.  The commander who had become the fifth on our side was poor enough to have his forces destroyed by the enemy we outnumbered.  Back to "4v3comp." 

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As ordered we made landing on Aquitaine last night. Our ground forces encountered only nominal resistance and victory was easily achieved. Unfortunately I am left in the awkward position of evaluating the performance of commander Tigger. While our objectives were achieved and he has earned some esteem for his actions, I cannot in good conscience commend his performance.

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[PC] attacks Protoss Empire at Aquitaine, 1/15/99
[PC]Tigger/Protoss and [PC]Kel_Riever/Terrans vs -spec4-PE-/Zerg and -whack-PE-/Protoss
Result:  VICTORY
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Match 3:  Protoss Empire attacks [PC] at Bifrost, 1/13/99
loser_baby-SoA/Protoss and Shrike -PE-/Terrans vs [PC]Musashi/Protoss and [PC]Tigger/Protoss
Result:  VICTORY
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Match 2:  [PC] attacks Roughnecks at Samhadi, 1/12/99
[PC]Musashi/Protoss and [PC]Shadwolf/Terrans vs Blue-RN and Tom-RN (Protoss/Terrans)
Result:  DEFEAT
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Match 1:  [PC] attacks Roughnecks at Gotterdammerung, 1/11/99
[PC]Musashi/Protoss and [PC]Bean/Protoss vs Blue-RN/Protoss and Tom-RN/Zerg
Result:  VICTORY
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