Archive for the “Miscellaneous Stuffs” Category

This story was written as a tournament report for Max Longstreet’s Mage Knight clan’s private site. Since about 15 people will ever see it there, 10 of whom will think it’s a serious report, I am reprinting it here so that another 4 people can see it.

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(Note 3/25/09) An old rant I wrote while frothing at the insane imbalances and labor waste of an unregulated large scale economy, something people typically do when at the losing end of it.  Of course, slightly after this inflammatory lefty diatribe, I learned from Peter Strait via email that Buckminster Fuller had already solved this proof in a plausible fashion in Design-Science Revolution, so I could have just read that.  This rant goes up in keeping of my "live with the infamy" philosophy.

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I have no idea why gaming sites post things about real world events that do not directly affect gameplay. I furthermore have no idea why someone would choose to come to a gaming site for informed and useful commentary on disasterous events on the scale of the Sept. 11 attacks on the World Trade center and the Pentagon. This is what CNN and the like are for, right? Therefore, it confuses me a lot when in addition to the usual emails I get on an almost-daily basis advising me to "UPDATE YOUR SITE DAMNIT," I also get inquiries about why I haven’t posted anything about the attacks. What the hell? Sure I have an opinion, as I suspect most of the world does at this time. What does that have to do with my site?

Then I realized that it’s not a gaming site anyway… it’s just a site I dribble little bits of useless stuff on from time to time as I feel like it. Considering the utter uselessness of information available at the mainstream gaming sites, and the utter stupidity of the crap going on at sites like AO-Basher, I am far from monopolizing the world of useless dribbling. So fine.

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Immediately following the publication of the treatise, I got a lot of comments. Some were actually helpful. Here I’ve collected some of the comments I found particularly helpful, or funny, or uh whatever.

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1. c4

"Is this really necessary Mu?"

The crisp morning air over the mountains south of Qalabar carried with it the scents of dead lugians and impending trouble.  In a small secluded vale, the forces of two equally matched armies faced off against each other… no more than sixteen to a side, standing in tense battle-lines, staring each other down as they waited for the first move.  This was a war that nobody wanted (to read about), yet it seemed inevitable.

Mu, in his position near the back of his formation, smoothed the silvery white mattekar robe that was the uniform of his entire army as he turned to regard Jin Lee, obstensibly referred to as his "Queen", yet in truth merely a highly accomplished mage who could not resist the idea of an "event".

"Yes… that foul Tegehel has gone too far this time," he opined.  "For many months has he maneuvered secretly behind the guise of ‘artist to the gods’, whilst simultaneously having dealings with the accursed Virindi, who ply him with whispered promises of power, riches, and really really cool java for his dark page."  Mu almost spit out this last part, threatening to clog the eyelets of his white heaume.  "Fah… his slow-loading web design ends here.  Now."

Jin peered across the heads of the single line of infantry before her at the night-black host of the enemy.  "We are far too evenly matched… should we wait for backup?"

"No… there is no time.  This shall not be any mere gangbang this day, but an operation of subtlety and planning."  He raised his head to shout orders… "Infantry advance!"

But the infantry could not move, and the reason became clear soon enough as purple lights swirled about them.  Indeed, with the added pressure of approximately 723 lugian-cheesing idiots and a crowd of people doing nothing at the archmage’s tower, the dreaded portal storm threatened to consume them all.  "We must evacuate!" cried the Knight of the King.

"Stay those recall spells," ordered Mu, as he contemplated the situation.  "We shall have to move slowly towards our objective, lest we all be lagged out at a bad moment.  Everyone, you shall heed my instructions and otherwise hold your positions.  The forces of foul Tegehel shall not excape us this day!"

A lone infantryman in the front lines, his silifi glistening in the dawn, sighed with relief.  As one who was foolish enough to concentrate on melee, his death would have surely been swift should they be ordered to attack en masse, buying perhaps a spare second or two for the mages and archers behind him.  In his flanking position, directly in front of the master archer the Bishop of the Dark Squares, surely he would be spared the initial conflict…

"You there, axe guy, advance!"

The melee fighter gulped as Jin Lee turned to Mu.  "The English Opening?  That’s very… hypermodern… of you…" she quipped, barely restraining her original comment of "bloody stupid".  "Why not send in that fool with the cestus?" she remarked, indicating an obviously relieved soldier standing directly in front of the monarch.

"Uh… well, in a conflict such as this I feel we should be flanking and confusing the enemy, not merely charging straight ahead into a head to head battle."  explained Mu.

"Right.  You want to keep yourself safe," she snorted.  "Some King."

Mu ignored her as he repeated his order, sending the resigned axeman two steps forward to meet his fate, a mere pawn in this war…

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The Mu and Max Vacation Getaway Contest Charity Drive ’99

The opportunity to help a disadvantaged soul comes along at the most unexpected times.  Long-time readers of Musashi’s page and veterans of the Mushroom War will recall with reverence the plea for public awareness made on this very site not so long ago.  Known to fewer people are the plans for upcoming charitable events, such as the "Scotch for Impoverished Webmasters" drive and the "Buy Mu Some God Damned Cigarettes" events, scheduled for later in the calendar year.  However, a recent opportunity to make a difference in the life of a needy person overseas recently came to Mu’s attention, as a heart-wrenching appeal arrived as an entry in the Mu and Max Vacation Getaway Contest ’99.  With your help, your selfless webmaster will be able to reach out and touch someone.  Possibly a lot.

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For the past, oh, 6 years or something, I have taken an annual week-long vacation to Squam lakes in New Hampshire, as the mooching guest of some rich people I know. In 1999, I thought I would bring a camera and try and post the pics as a substitute for real site content, thinking it would be interesting. I was wrong, of course. Still, as long as the stupid pics are eating space on my host, I might as well do something with them, so here they are. If you are in grade school or something, feel free to steal these pages and turn them in as your own "What I Did On my Summer Vacation" report.

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