Archive for the “Asheron’s Call” Category

Sometime in the distant past, roundabouts February or something, there was an AC player gathering at that citadel to the fall of western civilization, the Mall of America.  This haven of evil (except for Electronics Boutique, which is almost worth the nausea I suffer every time I approach the Mallo’s infinite Escher-esque parking ramps) is some ten minutes or so from my house.  I didn’t go.

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As I have received so much commentary on the last update, I’m going to just post the relevant feedback here… if you are confused about any of this crap, please refer to the 6/23 rant.

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More unrelated nonsense…

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Couple of random thoughts to keep people off my back…

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Just a quickie here… yes there is content in development, no I won’t post it yet.  Congratulations to Gandalf the Sorceror of Frostfell for having the weakest scam attempt I’ve ever heard, as well as being a front runner for "most unimaginative name".

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I don’t like message boards.  Why oh why must my referrals page link me to message boards?

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Oh.  My.  God.  If I ever say anything bad about how tedious and dull Asheron’s Call can be in the future, please remind me of this horrifying experience to snap me out of it.  Next to Everquest, muling in AC is like a holodeck simulation of a green beret invasion of ninja headquarters on crack.  Originally, I was going to wait until level 20 in EQ before making a published judgment call on the issue, but seeing how the game works, I will NEVER last that long.  Just getting to 6 was a trial of long and boring spawn camping, foraging for edible roots, and desperately searching for that rare vendor who would sell me drinking water since, as everyone knows, the sparkling springs of Norrath all contain lethal amounts of heavy metal salts or nerve toxins or elephant urine or something, as nobody can just get some fucking water from the stream.  However, if you can forage, you don’t have to worry about food, since you can always seem to get a dressed rabbit carcass while swimming in the middle of the ocean.

I was going to make this into a chronicle, but I soon realized that it would merely consist of screenshots of unbelievably retarded stuff bordered by several hundred instances of the word "FUCK", so instead I present it here, as a warning to all.  For the children.

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In the spirit of community service, I think I’ll start posting some helpful tidbits of AC news, emulating the reporting styles of well-respected journalists!

A Shadow Falls Across Dereth

Whilst awakening from my slumber, I received an odd and foreboding message!

00.00.10.2298.r Portal:compiled Fri Mar 10 11:28:58 2000 : Release
Welcome to Asheron’s Call

What can this chilling phrase mean?  Only time will tell!  Stay tuned for details…

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In case you get really bored to tears while trying to hack through this site, here’s a line-by-line account of my duel with an enemy some 38 levels lower than me.

 

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Is it necessary for people to be utter retards all of the time?  I suppose so.  Problem is, it gets boring after a while to simply point out the idiocy of people in the pseudo-anonymous world of the MMORPG so that others can laugh at it, knowing for a fact that of course I’m not talking about them.  Except for those idiots whom I name personally.  They get mad and start whining a lot and mixing up their facts and their metaphors.  But I digress…

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