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As ordered we made landing on Aquitaine last night. Our ground forces encountered only nominal resistance and victory was easily achieved. Unfortunately I am left in the awkward position of evaluating the performance of commander Tigger. While our objectives were achieved and he has earned some esteem for his actions, I cannot in good conscience commend his performance.

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So you’ve spent your fourteen years of life engaged in the unrelenting pursuit of the perfect score in every computer game known to man.  Now you’ve decided to adjust your coke-bottle glasses on your nose, apply a fresh coat of clearasil and take on the world.  After memorizing every episode of Star Trek and grasping the lesson’s of life taught by Buffy (yes, I know you think she’s a babe), you have decided to share your wisdom with the world.  But how to show what a macho cool dude you are without actually exposing yourself to the risks inherent in real life?  Fortunately, you are a Geek and know everything there is to know about the Internet.  You look around  briefly and you find out about online gaming.  You can play Quake and prove that you are more skilled in personal combat than any muscleheaded marine or play interactive fighting games and demonstrate your martial arts prowess in a hundred perfect executions of the spinning sweep kick.  But what about your true genius, the exercise of strategic thought?  You’ve mastered the sublety of Stratego, the logistics of Risk, and even the complexities of Axis and Allies.  You are ready to go forth and conquer!

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Welcome to Shadwolf’s swill reviews.  Here I will be posting Shadowolf’s reviews of various types of liquor, most of which I won’t go near, for the edification of those who are too poor or too sane to part with huge amounts of money for a fine 18-year old single malt.

Shadwolf prefers a simple star-based rating system for those who have better things to do than read.  His criteria include flavor, value, buzz, and comedic impact.  Unfortunately, not all of the beverages he rates here can be considered truly awful by non-cogniscenti, so this information may actually be of some value to someone. – Mu

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