I think it’s some sort of holiday or something.  In the spirit of the season, blah blah blah, I would like to joyously remind everyone that there are a few things you can be certain of, and one of them is that people are fucking stupid.  Frank Zappa once opined that the building block of the universe was not hydrogen but stupidity, as it is much more common.  Anyone who logs into any online game for more than a few minutes would be hard-pressed to refute this.

Although it may seem redundant and petty to spotlight the poster boy for Planned Parenthood, nobody epitomizes the stupidity of the universe quite like The Silver King.  He recently felt the need to begin trash talking the other day in the mage shop, after pulling a really dumb swindle on Ramadias.  He had just purchased some pauldrons from Ramadias for 8k, and immediately started shouting like a carnival barker, trying to sell them for 20k.  You know, if you’re level 35 and can’t think of a better way to make 12k fast than to pull some lame shit like this, you really are sad.

After a few lines along the lines of, "I have starving vassals!" (no kidding), apparently he thought someone’s offer was less than generous, which makes him a THIEF.  Like ME.  At least he could spell my name right.

Now the madness deepens.  Suddenly there was another golem there, which he was fighting as I looted the empty chests which he was at before me.  The Silver King is truly a great mage, to destroy a golem singlehandedly while it was not on my radar, running full speed for the chests, and not in magic mode.

I should have known better than to actually speak English… my apologies.  I did not realize that not only was The Silver King stupid, a liar, and delusional, but also illiterate.  Can anyone understand why The Silver King is the epitome of everything I hate in stupid gamers?  If I was a petty and mean person, I might go even further, like say that the person who sends me the most full-screen captures (converted to JPG format) with The Silver King’s corpse and the examine popup that says, "Killed by (your name here)" by January 15 would get something nice like a Hoary Mattekar Robe and 50k in trade notes.  But that would be bad, so I won’t say that.

Papa Smurf is another Zulcatt family PK.  I have no idea how they feel about their boss’s recent rampage a few days ago, killing every red he saw in Arwic regardless of level, looting, and then going non-PK.  The politics of redness… another reason not to be a PK in a game filled with retards.

Papa Smurf also seems vocabulary-challenged.  Fortunately, even for the language-impaired, there are other creative outlets in the world of Asheron’s Call, like performance art.



Sadly, the PK world in Asheron’s Call seems to be declining for the same reason it declined in Ultima Online… fucking idiots.  Of course, in UO the decline was in the form of people cancelling their accounts after being gangbanged by pImPmAsTa 10 times; in Asheron’s Call, you can simply go white.  Blink is white for the moment.  Xipher went white after Matsai killed him in the tavern while he was away from the keyboard.  And everyone else seems to be thinking about it.




It’s a tough call, when faced with utter morons… go red so you can take out some aggression on the idiots who also happen to be red, or go white and ignore their stupidity as best you can?  Sometimes the best answer seems to be to just log out and do something stupid like work on a webpage, sharing the idiocy you encountered that day with the rest of the world in your own small way.  It doesn’t really change anything, but it does sorta make me feel good.  That’s something I need after listening to 50% of everyone ask me for free shit, and the other 50% make total asses of themselves in the mage shop.


But let’s not be bitter… according to what someone told me today, it’s like Christmas or something.  And in that spirit, it feels good to give something special to your friends in game, like a matty robe.  Share the joy.

2 Responses to “Idiotic Trash Talk, and Maybe the First Appearance of… BRANDON”
  1. karl.... says:

    You’ve played this game for WAY too long..
    I hate you and your stupid fuckin webpage

  2. If you’d bothered to read the date stamp on the story, you’d realize this was posted LAST CENTURY.

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