NOTE FROM 4/22/2001 – This was originally written off the cuff following the minor skirmishes that resulted from the big bad infamous balance AC rant of 11/17/2000.  I forgot all about it, since I gave myself a headache trying to analyze more posts from this brilliant analyst and probably blotted it out of my memory in self-preservation.  Having just dug it up, I now present it, 5 months out of date, in the hopes that its irrelevance may further bore and chase away readers.

I have many detractors.  Using logical and convincing arguments such as "this uses potty language so you shouldn’t read it," many forum paladins have tried to convince me of the error of my ways.  Up until now, I have been in denial, trying to convince myself that careful research, hard data, strong inference, repeated questioning, a desire to improve a gaming environment, and the truth were enough to justify my delusions that maybe I was doing something that some people might find worthwhile, or could possibly make a change for the better.  That day is over, for I have met my match, a debater so powerful and so grounded in unshakable truth, backed up by encyclopaedic knowledge of just about everything, that I can no longer hold my head up and say, "I have an idea."

That man… is Sarec of Frostfell(Wall Licker). – new update today! – NT – Penelope

He isn’t saying anything new. – Sarec of Frostfell(Wall licker)

He’s just copying the picture as has been regurgitated over many times. He does this for a bunch of games so its a nice database of stuff for people who don’t have a clue. For the general devboard populace, Mu’s rants are limited in focus, don’t cover all aspects of the problem, and don’t touch upon any solutions. I’m not saying they’re not based in anything, just that they’re more intended for a dev board newbie than people who really know the underworkings of the game.

Let me guess, like you? – NT – Arashi Mal III

No man, I’ll tell you how to quadruple AC’s player base – Sarec of Frostfell(Wall licker)


I have the solutions, and I can state the problems better than Mu can. In fact the developers listen to my suggestions quite frequently, or they coincidentally act in a manner I have also been advocating. Simply they aren’t acting fast enough on the skill balancing issue.

They’re like trying to stop a forest fire by telling you its not there then throwing a bucket of water on it.

Mu’s saying,"Hey guys, um I’m pretty sure the forest is on fire."


I’m saying,"Duh, only an idiot wouldn’t know the forest is on fire, look at the smoke and flames. Btw, lets take the following actions to clear the place out so we don’t have the whole place burn down and nothing left. In fact if we act fast we can preserve most of the forest then used the chared remains to build stuff."

I was confused about this.  Obviously this is a man with the ear of the dev team, one who understands the dynamics of development and coding and QA and… well, if you read enough of his posts, seemingly everything.  So smart and righteous that in order to conceal his godlike understanding of developer issues that he masks his divinity behind the self-depricating moniker of (Wall Licker), humbly equating himself with the most despised and spat upon subclass of leech mages ever to dirty the halls of cheesy XP dungeons.  I was compelled to read more, to understand what makes Sarec of Frostfell(Wall Licker) so brilliant.  In fact he must be… longtime CoD readers will recall that reputedly he applied for a position at Turbine, only to be rejected because he was "too smart."  Devs were unwilling to comment on this hidden genius behind the development of AC, muttering something about deleting lots of stupid entries to the Q&A page, but I could tell they were hiding something.  Unfortunately the CoD boards scroll so damn fast I can’t possibly keep up with all of the brilliance therein.  After all, the general devboard populace already understood everything I wrote about, and my rants are only suitable for a dev board newbie.

So I read.  And, as quickly as my admittedly dim mind allowed, I learned.

From: Sarec of Frostfell(Wall licker)
ID: f5NVHty6j0I
Date: November 19, 2000 at 8:56 pm

Subject: My girlfriend had an idea

She says that since most of the communication is stolen right from MUD’s we should have an @mail command.

We could then @mail friends messages. We could @mail people notifications of when quests will occur.

IMHO the game should be set up such that an allegiance web page is unnecessary except for recruitment. So this idea definately is a good one.

BTW, my gf likes horses and games like FF7′s mini chocobo breeding. So I’m going to request mounts… Even though I know its not feasable for many reason.

Chocobos in AC!  I know it MUST be possible somehow, but unfortunately I lack the coding knowhow, not to mention the ear of the devs, to figure out how exactly to implement it.  Sarec claims there are "many reason" that it cannot be implemented, but I’m sure there is a way.  And judging from his later posts regarding MMORPG development, he is the man to make it happen.

From: Sarec of Frostfell(Wall licker)
ID: f5NVHty6j0I
Date: November 19, 2000 at 9:06 pm
In Reply to: error

Subject: Only 6 coders? They really should hire some underlings

Now I’m not upper management but with MMORPGS closing in on becoming a billion dollar industry, if I was Microsoft I’d hire more than 6 programmers…

But hey, thats just me, I was too busy learning about pyhsics and computer algorithms to get a buisness degree.

I once tried to learn about pyhsics, but I couldn’t find any references to it in the local library.  I would have thought that the decision to hire more programmers might have been made by Turbine, you know, the developer, but obviously there is a secret iron fisted control that Microsoft has over Turbine’s personnel policy.  I was just too blinded by my own lack of intelligence to find it.

From: Sarec of Frostfell(Wall licker)
ID: f5NVHty6j0I
Date: November 19, 2000 at 7:21 pm
In Reply to: error

Subject: A better question would be: Who gets to be in beta.

The first group of people that deserve to be in beta I’d believe would be all the arm chair developers who frequent this board. They are the ones able to see into the truth of a game and will make sure its everything its intended to be, not a mockery of itself. I swear, so many games have royally screwed the pooch by recruiting beta testers from players and deliberately not using skilled game testers.

I must admit to a certain amount of fear when considering this possibility.  The Dev Board, when it was announced that the permabuff bug was going to be fixed, was 10 nonstop pages of topics like "PLZ LEAVE PERMABUFFS IN" and "Petition:  Sign here to make Turbine not fix the permabuff bug!"  Other brilliant courses of action have been the periodic request to turn everyone over level 10 automatically PK, bring back Hoary Mattekar Robes and prepatch GSA, make PKs completely unable to loot their enemies, and the equivalent of a "save" button where on every login you get asked, "Do you want to revert to the previous save of your character?"  This is in addition to things like requests for +400% mod bows and instructions for duping items.  I thought at first that these ideas and the countless others like them to be the product of lobotomized chimpanzees with too much sugar in their diet, but with the assurance that posting to a dev board qualifies you as both an "armchair developer" and a "skilled game tester," I can see now the validity and sheer wisdom of these ideas.  I therefore submit that every idea ever posted to the dev board is a sound one, coming from the perspective of a skilled game tester and armchair developer, and should be implemented via weekly patches.

And on the subject of MMORPG design and coding…

From: Sarec of Frostfell(Wall licker)
ID: f5NVHty6j0I
Date: November 19, 2000 at 9:01 pm
In Reply to: error

Subject: C++ or java are good AI languages, unlike Quick Basic

I wince when I remember trying to think up a new variable name so I didn’t overlap my old loop variables from the massive amount of code I had written for the MMORPG. The only reason I abandoned Qbasic over C++ in 95 was because Qbasic had no socket support. Later I realized the nicieties of functions. Soon after Origins kicked me in the nuts. And thats my life story :)

for neverusedthisvariablebefore 1 to 100

To be able to write massive amounts of code for an mmorpg in that most powerful and versatile of languages, QBasic, without knowledge of "functions" or things like "network layers" is a daunting task; indeed, many developers would say it was "fucking impossible."  I don’t believe this is true, since most developers aren’t as smart as Sarec or they wouldn’t have gotten the job!  No reply yet from the dev team as to why they didn’t use Java for their AI algorithms.

From: Sarec of Frostfell(Wall licker)
ID: j/3pTH.pVFk
Date: November 19, 2000 at 5:15 pm
In Reply to: error

Subject: Satisticly looking at the chances of killing Bael

Yes I think you are right. He is 10 times stronger than the white rabbit to start… But he also has minions, which are so strong, they themselves give adventurers trouble. Lets say this triples his difficulty. Already 30 times stronger than the white rabbit, but you need to factor in that he can’t be lured to the lifestone or gotten to easily(switch door is a pain in the but and needs a moderately organized group to do)… so you’re looking at about 5 times harder…

Now I’m just tossing out numbers, but thats 150 times stronger than the white rabbit… So if you can get a group to kill the white rabbit 1/10 times… You’re looking at around 1,500 concerted efforts expected to be had before you kill BZ.

As discipline and organization of players increase, you can shave off the factor of 5 for reaching him, so you’re down to 300 tries… If you can manage to tactically take off his minions and kill him before they respawn, his minion factor of 3 is removed, so you’re down to 1/100 tries. If you can get a better caliber of adventurers so you can kill the rabbit faster, then you’re looking at something better than 100 estimated attempts… Of course its hard to keep a group enthused and organized over 100 trips.

Once again I am defeated.  Even though BZ has been killed already several times, which seems to ruin the expected curve with the 1 out of 100 to 1500 attempts axiom, there are lots of numbers here.  They all look good and they divide into each other well.  I shall henceforth delete the attack/defense mods formulae, and all other amateurish treatments of mathematical analysis, from the page, as they obviously are better suited to preschool number games by Fisher Price.

There you have it.  I am humbled, and bow before the greatness which has pointed out to me the error of my ways.  One must consider that these posts were all brought up by one search of the dev board, which is about good for approximately 6 seconds at the rate it scrolls off into nothingness.  It doesn’t even include all of Sarec’s posts during that timeframe.  Who knows how many countless gems I have missed?  The imagination staggers.

I will from this point forward look upon the typical denizen of the CoD dev board as a wise, educated, objective person commenting from the perspective that only an existence as an armchair developer and skilled beta tester can afford, and no longer as slimy bottom feeding hagfish who make semi-legible posts asking for stupid and ill-conceived changes to the game out of puerile self-interest.  I will no longer comment upon the nature of things in Asheron’s Call, unless there seems to be a need to tell the ignorant, non-dev board posting masses that, "Hey guys, um I’m pretty sure the forest is on fire."  Before taking a stand on any issue at all, I will be sure to check to see if the dev board feels firmly about it.  After all, if that many well educated and informed posters know that leaving in permabuff bugs is the best thing for the game, then by GOD I will do what I can to make sure it happens.

Because they know.

Because Sarec knows.

I need a bigger stick.

From:  Sarec
ID:  ewZnmrdi4R.
Date:  4/25/01 at 4:45 pm
Subject:  You guys should read Mu’s page more often :)

Only disagreement I’d have with him is the Baelzaron stats I had were calculated using the old Baelzaron lair not the new one. Read without the sarcasm, its pretty ego lifting :)

That was awesome :)

Is it even possible to read the rant without the sarcasm?  Oh wait, yes, if all you do is read the original posts.  Then it’s just absurdly stupid.  I give up.  It’s only ridicule if the target is smart enough to see it.

More from the same thread, commentary not required:

From:  Mephistopheles
ID:  wyDTi8E7qDQ
Date:  4/27/01 at 12:00 am
In Reply To:  You guys should read Mu’s page more often :) (posted by Sarec)
Subject:  Hey wonderboy..

You do realize that he all but came out and called you a flaming moron, right?

You might want to reread that and ignore the parts that were your own writing this time, I think you got a little too caught up in those parts the last time you read it..

From:  Sarec
ID:  ewZnmrdi4R.
Date:  4/27/01 at 8:55 am
In Reply To:  Hey wonderboy.. (posted by Mephistopheles)
Subject:  I honestly believe I’m one of the best devs in the world

While he mocked at my abilities in thinking I can’t possibly be what I claim…
I really am awesome at designing games and video games.
I’ve been doing it all my life fervently.
Made strategy games before I knew they existed.
Wrote my own RPG and friends loved it.
Pinky and the Brain? A cartoon idea I came up simultaneously with from a situation in the RPG. A pair of mutant mice trying to conquer the universe.
If it wasn’t for bad parenting(computers will never get you anywhere… wait oops our bad) forcing me to work at minimim wage jobs, I’d have a competing MMORPG on the market coded and designed entirely by the same guy… I’d have been what 15 then… I have more design creds.

I’m also pretty good at playing video games…

Quite possibly the best video game player in the world too…

Beat tons of arcade games with 1 play

Smoked every opponent I’ve ever had in SF2 and clones (b4 they went gay)… Wracking up 10-50 wins in a row.

Never found someone who could play video games at my level.

Finished in the world championships for Starcraft, the first online competition I participated in.

For a while, had a few #1 hardcore world wide Diablo II characters at level 60 something. Lag death, lag death, boredom death, back to AC. Didn’t die under my own will ever in the game unless you count the boredome death :)

In serious MTG play, I used to bash heads with what became a couple #1 pro tour winners.

I have a bunch of nasty angst ridden goodness pages at:
I’m also a good speculator of whats going to take off, I still remember when I was 6,(83) Really upset that Atari stopped making games. I was like . o O"I wish atari would come out with new games, depression is setting in…", then two years later Nintendo and C64 came out and I enjoyed some of the happiest days of my life with my friends. It was only later that I discovered that Atari had a corporate mess goin on at 83 which is why they stopped making games. How about Colleco, bet they are glad they threw all their effort into those stupid dolls :P

Ugh I’m rambling, but yes, I’m a genius, everyone tells me that. And I’m through being modest :P Thats for chumps.

From:  Mephistopheles
Date:  4/27/01 at 2:40 pm
In Reply To:  I honestly believe I’m one of the best devs in the world (posted by Sarec)
Subject:  You scare me..

I’m frightened that you might actually believe all that utter crap.

Sorry pal, but if you’re such a genius at game design why aren’t you doing it? And why do you have some of the *stupidest* ideas this board has ever seen?

Being depressed about Atari does not make you in any way a good speculator about the industry. You’re just symptomatic of the reasons why people who actually had a clue realized that there was a market for things like the Nintendo system.

You don’t impress anyone here but yourself.. The more trite crap you spout about how wonderful you are the more you sound like a complete moron. And you’re not helping your case at all with that website.. Your game theories are laughable, but hey I actually work in networking and can see the glaring holes in your "Secure massively multiplayer game with no central game server." theory and know enough about programming to see that the "NSA Theory of large primes" idea is just gibberish..

Seeing as you missed the point.. Dev board type places tend to be the last place developers should be looking for help with design. They represent a small portion of the game community (and usually only the most rabid of them) and the things they’ll tend to rail on about would probably be useless to or even hamper the playing of the average player. You personify everything that is wrong with Dev Board type "armchair developers". You’ve got a laughably small amount of knowledge about design, an apparent lack of systems/programming knowledge and an overly self-centric view of what is "best for the game". Any dev that wastes time reading a single dev theory of yours should be tied to a chair and made to spend a minimum of 3x that amount reading theories and writings of someone with a clue. (Take a look at Raph Koster’s page This should be required reading for anyone that works in game design and should show you what this "clue" thing looks like..)

From:  Sarec
ID:  ewZnmrdi4R.
Date:  4/27/01 at 4:08 pm
In Reply To:  You scare me.. (posted by Mephistopheles)
Subject:  No job? Too much college, no way to judge a designer’s skill

Look at artists, they make something appealing to the eye.

Look at programmers, they know their tech code.

The industry wants these people.

How is a good designer judged in the current industry?
They led and wrote a sucessful game. To write a sucessful game, you need to already be part of a team as an artist or programmer just about.

Tons of basic skill sets involved with seeing statistic balance, and what is fun is totally misunderstood by the industry. Just look at how much crap is on the shelves thrown out by Hasbro and Hasbro wanna bes. If they had half a brain they’d hire a classy designer and have some content behind their graphics.

*shrugs* But I’m prolly just talking on deaf ears. There’s no way to prove developer quality just like there is no way to prove video game skill. Yeah, he’s finished in first in tons of skill based games, but he doesn’t like to play the new kings quest "guess what opens the next door" games, obviously he sucks.

From:  Keth al-Sheth
ID:  Z66PnsoJ.2I
Date:  4/27/01 at 2:35 pm
In Reply To:  I honestly believe I’m one of the best devs in the world (posted by Sarec)
Subject:  LOL, now this is humorous – NT

From:  Penelope (Malachai)
ID:  .k8SvITjDnA
Date:  4/27/01 at 2:34 pm
In Reply To:  I honestly believe I’m one of the best devs in the world (posted by Sarec)
Subject:  seek help. – NT

From:  BBQ Bob
ID:  5V3rgf.ruPw
Date:  4/27/01 at 11:17 am
In Reply To:  I honestly believe I’m one of the best devs in the world (posted by Sarec)
Subject:  I’s arrogant, too.

Yeah, well I can stuff over two hundred marshmallows in my mouth! (the little ones, of course) And then eat, most of ‘em!

One of the best devs in the world!  This opinion must be shared at the message board of AC Dev, where it seems that Sarec of Frostfell (Wall Licker) is indeed a known quantity!

Mu rants about ShardBot boy (Sarec of Frostfell)

Posted On 04/23/01 11:04AM

Everybody’s favorite scumbag, Sarec of Frostfell.

He’ll sell you his Kmart shard bot for fifty dollars, or his custom macros, he threatened to kill Greyed for no apparent reason, (I KILL YOU IN REAL LIFE!) and was banned from the #acdev IRC chan. Yes, the same man who’s every pic of his "leet macros" or "leet shard bot" contain vitae icons.

Please keep in mind that Sarec is the same guy who sold "permabuffed" GSA on ebay up until the moment devs fixed it. And my favorite quote from mu’s article was:

Sarec: "But hey, thats just me, I was too busy learning about pyhsics" (SIC)




More evidence flying in, confirming the technical wizardry of this developer!

Subject: Sarec – you’re only scratching the surface of this scumbag
Date: Wed, 16 May 2001 08:11:54 -0700 (PDT)
From: Akira Fist

You are only scratching the surface of Sarec/CrazyJim, recently booted off Ebay (LOL) for scamming people.  Here are some prime examples of Sarec’s idiocy:

His Elite Shardbot:

Let’s discuss his shard bot, can we?  It’s written entirely in ACTool script language, when Sarec joined #acdev a while back (and threatened Greyed’s life), he announced his shard bot available for only fifty bucks.  When revealed it was hacked in .mac language, we all asked him why not just write a program. Well… believe it or not… Sarec DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO PROGRAM.  That’s right, he’s just a big, cuddly script kiddie.  Even the simplicity of Visual Basic is far too complex for his superior intellect, no less more complex languages such as C++ or Delphi.

Sarec sells GEAR URL!

For a nominal fee of five bucks, you too can learn the secret URL (lol).  You gotta love that caption of "NO LAG!".  I would also dig up where he sold permabuffed GSA on Ebay, but their history doesn’t stretch back that long.  But rest assured, when another cheat arrives on AC, Sarec and his scumbag Ebay sales staff will be right on it, pimping like mad.



2 Responses to “Dev Board 1, Mu 0”
  1. Classic. I especially lol’d about the beta testers vs game testers comment.

  2. Josephfiery says:

    Hi people!

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